Bravery
by Kalasin
Summary: Nothing new…but…what’s bravery again…?


**A/N: My first ever oneshot…I can't seem to focus on what I'm really supposed to be writing anyway…**

**Disclaimer: 1.) I'm never, ever going to own Rurouni Kenshin. 2.) This story was written under the influence of Quijano de Manila's writing style though the plot is all mine. Thank you.**

**Warnings: Fluff/waff. Also, please assume for this story that Enishi informed Kaoru of her faked death while they were on his island. 'This unworthy one'/_sessha_ and the pronoun "I" will all be used interchangeably here. And AGAIN…this isn't anything new.**

Bravery

Summary: Nothing new…but…what's bravery again…?

Dedicated to chantelleice, with memories of the Sweet Prince

You would think, Kenshin Himura thought, that someone like him would have already known what real bravery was, he who had fought many battles and wielded his sword against many fierce warriors for his beliefs and for the good of the future.

Oh, how he wished.

These thoughts continued to haunt him as he walked along with the people he now called 'family:' Sano, with his trademark fishbone, lazily allowing his eyes to graze over the evening beauty of the crowded street leading to the Akabeko, sometimes winking at random women who caught his eye; Yahiko, whose stare was faithfully stuck to the path leading to the restaurant, no doubt looking forward to seeing Tsubame-chan; Megumi, who was elbowing Sano ungently and making snide remarks at him each time she would see him wink at another woman, and finally…

There she was, completely unaware that the reason for his silence was not because he had nothing to say, but because the gentle breeze of the evening air and the yellowish-red light emanating from the lanterns and the starlight befalling their group and dancing with the myriad sounds of people laughing and lovers whispering hushed secrets to one another was really, he felt, mocking him and his all-too cowardly stance so much so that he could not even bring himself to offer her his arm for fear of something he could not even name.

An entire month after Enishi's Jinchuu, Kenshin realized, and all he had been able to do was merely brush her hand gently with his at a few, opportune moments, never able to fully tell her the extent of his emotions, which were claiming him even now, powerless and afraid, a warrior lost when it came to matters of the heart after not having to fathom such things for an entire decade, never able to follow up on that one and only kiss they had shared that sunset when everything had been seemingly perfect, the sunset which was yet to reveal to them the oncoming cruelty of the man who had been seeking revenge for the death of his sister so long ago.

But how did one go about professing their love to the woman who had claimed his heart? Young lovers could opt to write haikus, and fold them up into beautiful origami, but even if he could fold for her a thousand cranes, his poetry, he knew, would be undeniably insufficient; what did he ever know of sweet, loving words written in the delicate folds of colored paper, he who only knew that dark line of poetry which talked of life fading away bloodily at the mercy of rich, red ink flowing from a sword?

There had only been a few moments, Kenshin Himura thought, when he had wanted to break all semblances of social protocol and propriety, and none at all save now when he had wanted to do so for what he felt for one Kaoru Kamiya, the woman who had been wrenched so harshly from his life and who had been shrouded in a feigned death that had deemed him a victim of madness a month ago to the point that he now longed to take her in his arms and kiss her among the swirling voices that whispered to him of lost loves and new beginnings, of a shadowed past and of a future so near his present it was suffocating him so.

"Kenshin…?"

Her voice startled him, making her wonder again what was bothering him, but he only smiled, and she felt her heart warm and her own lips lift up into a smile as her rurouni realized they had reached the Akabeko, not knowing that her very smile was enough to make him wish once more that he could pull her to him and apologize for all the stupid, stupid things that he, Kenshin the Idiot had done to hurt her, or had not done to protect her; they walked into the restaurant, and sat side by side, and she pretended that it wasn't a relief to know that though he was not the most able in showing her his affections intimately, he at least let her feel them in the smallest of ways—in the way he would always be sitting next to her, or walking next to her, always allowing her to enter indoors first, always stopping in the middle of walking to somewhere with her if she suddenly needed to fix something she was carrying so she could walk on more comfortably; he was always there, beside her, as if to walk on without her by his side was to be foolishly selfish and stupid.

And yet he was quiet all throughout dinner, only chuckling briefly at the antics Sano and Yahiko pulled, with Megumi wrinkling her fine nose at them and their boyish ways, quiet even as they walked Megumi to the clinic, where Sano had decided to stay a little longer while she, Kenshin, and Yahiko headed home.

Home, Kenshin thought, where everything began and everything was continuing to make him guilty for his inability to act. O that his too, too sullied flesh would acquire what he needed in order to do what he longed to; for there was nothing else to occupy his mind, for now there were no vengeful thugs and nosy government officials knocking at the dojo doors, no such other things bothering him, as if they had all faded temporarily into the background so that he could be faced with this one thing he had been delaying.

By this time Yahiko had entered his room after bidding them goodnight, and he was left beside her, standing in front of her room.

"Kenshin…? Is something bothering you?" Her voice was a mere murmur, and unspoken though not unheard were the words asking why he was not telling her whatever it was: did he not trust her? Surely by now he knew that she was capable enough of telling when he was worried about something even when the others could not sense it?

"Nothing of great importance, Kaoru-dono—"

But her intuition knew better, and she smiled, shaking her head, an idea blossoming in her mind even as she stepped closer. "Iie; we both know that's not true." She looked up at him, and suddenly he was fearful at how close her face was to his. "I have an idea," she told him, her breath brushing across his face. She cocked her head to the side, unaware of how she was worsening his dilemma. "I haven't been up on the dojo roof for a very long time, Kenshin."

"Oro?"

Her reply caught him unaware, and he watched, still astonished as she started to grin. "Why don't I get into something warmer and you can meet me up there in five minutes?"

"Oh. Er. For what, Kaoru-dono?"

She rolled her eyes, as though it was painfully obvious and once again he was the clueless idiot who was standing there, all swirly-eyed and whose head was spinning helplessly. "Why, for an evening chat, of course! Come on, Kenshin, it'll be so much fun! We'll be up there on the roof watching over all the houses while everyone sleeps, and oh, Kenshin, I haven't done that with anyone since before you had to fight Shishio and before that, since after my father died! He used to take me up there all the time when he knew something was bothering me, and I would never, ever, ever be able to keep it from him once we were up there! Oh, could we do that, Kenshin? Please?"

And then Kenshin Himura knew he could not resist, especially not those eyes which were beseeching him and watching him so closely; he nodded in agreement and watched as she entered her room, finding himself only a few minutes after up on the rooftop, knowing all too well that for a woman like Kaoru, she would have a little difficulty climbing up, but that that would not hinder her, and if it did prove to be a problem, he himself knew that he would reach out and pull her up on the roof, that he would savor the feel of touching her briefly in order to lift her up when he could not do anything of the type any other time.

Soon he heard her grunting, but before he could help her up she had already hoisted herself into a sitting position, heels underneath her as she faced him, with a bright smile, pulling her haori closer to herself; that same smile causing his spirits to lift themselves as she once again asked him what was wrong, and he knew, this time, that there was no escape, that she had cleverly trapped him so that his only escape was a sudden drop below which would really, really hurt unless he applied his graceful skill and therefore, only postpone his death until such time that she caught up with him and hit him with her shinai so many times for not telling her what was wrong.

She was watching him, watching as he lowered his head and as his bangs hid his eyes away from her; when he spoke, the gravity of his voice surprised her, the grimness of his tone arousing her curiosity all the more.

"You are back home," he said, lowering his head all the more; raising an eyebrow, she opened her mouth to ask if that was a bad thing, when he once again began to speak, knowing full well that what he needed had been inside him all along, that the woman before her had already instilled it in him only he had denied it ever existed, that which was rendering it possible for him to go on speaking.

"You are back home…to us…to me…and it is killing this unworthy one, that he has done nothing to make your homecoming worthwhile…to…" He paused, at a loss for a while. "Nothing to show you that you were sorely missed by this unworthy one." She was shocked to see that he had lifted his head to look straight at her, his eyes boring into hers. "And do not tell me, Kaoru-dono, that that does not hurt you…because I have come to know you far too well." He directed his gaze to the starlit heavens.

"And I know that it pains you that I have not shown you…anything… And I am sorry for that…that I am."

And for some reason, the tears started to form in her eyes, and her heart was aching from the knowledge that he was worried because he had 'not done anything' that would be for her own benefit; the sweetness of it all, the silliness of his all-too hurt soul touched her and formed in her something that allowed her to do what she had always dreamed of doing but never thought was right what with propriety and all, but now she reached for him, and he watched her with an unreadable expression as she neared her face to his, closed her eyes, and allowed their lips to touch…for it was enough for her that he kissed her back, that his hand tightened around the hand she had used to cup the side of his face in her palm.

And they pulled away from their second kiss, his eyes tracing her features with surprise but not regret. His voice, suddenly hoarse, broke the silence as she pulled away a little to look out at the landscape below them. "Sessha supposes that means you forgive him…"

And she laughed helplessly, glancing at him with those blue eyes. "Tell me, Kenshin…in this place and time…what do you want?"

He stared at her, puzzled, and she chuckled at his expression. "What do you want, Kenshin? Me? I want to re-start teaching the Kamiya Kasshin all over again now that I'm back until I've got well over fifty students eager to learn it; I want to teach Yahiko so many things because I know he is eager and that he can do it; I want to see everyone from the Aoiya more often, and I want to ask you, Tae, and Megumi for teaching lessons so I can finally cook something completely edible…I want to live life to the fullest and I want to do it starting this very moment. What about you, Kenshin? Your turn; what do _you_ want?"

He cleared his throat, shifting his gaze again so that he was now watching the view. "I want very simple things. I want a peaceful life…I want to help you find more students…I want to help more people along the way…" He smiled before continuing. "I want to eat the first meal that you cook after you have learned all that you need to…" He trailed off.

She reached for his hand and held it in hers, for she, she and her heart knew there was something else and she wanted so much to find out. "And? What else, Kenshin?"

He cleared his throat again, though his voice continued to be hoarse.

"To ask the one I love the most to be my wife."

She lowered her head, smiling at his response and almost trembling from head to toe. "And why haven't you asked her?"

He grimaced. "Because I am afraid of what she might say…"

She smiled all the more, and stared at him. "Why, what do you think will she say?"

He sighed, trying not to look at her though he was now smiling broadly as well. "The same thing," he said, "that she always says when I ask the most obvious questions."

"And what would that be?"

" '_Kenshin no baka.' _"

"Hmm…that does sound like her…"

He squeezed her hand and now held it with both of his. "And is that also what you want, Kaoru?" he asked, omitting the honorific. "Do you want to be my wife?"

She sighed, and both smiled before leaning towards one another for another kiss.

And then she laughed as he ran a finger down her smooth cheek and she fingered gently the scar on his face.

"Kenshin no baka."

And then before he knew it, Kenshin Himura knew again what bravery was, and what pushed men to do what they had to do despite the fear that never left them but which they fought against anyway, pulling the one he loved closer to him as they cherished the moment accompanied by the gentle breeze of the evening air and the yellowish-red light emanating from the lanterns and the starlight befalling them and dancing with the myriad sounds of people laughing and lovers whispering hushed secrets to one another which, Kenshin felt, had really been foreshadowing everything after all.

**A/N:**

"O that his too, too sullied flesh would acquire what he needed in order to do what he longed to…" inspired by:

_O that this too, too sullied flesh would melt, thaw, and resolve itself into a dew, or that the Everlasting had not fixed his canon 'gainst self-slaughter…_ (Hamlet, 1.2.133-136)


End file.
